Rain

When it rains it pours. Both the good, and the bad. Don't you think?  Right now I feel like I'm being pelted from all sides. Let's start with the good...

I feel like my business is in such a great place.  I go to a show and have a confidence I didn't have before. I am sure of my product, and of my abilities. It's a good feeling. The other day when I did a show my wonderful friend came and helped me. At one point a person bought a lanyard, and I mentioned that they are $10 or 2 for $15.  She then asked me if I would do a dog collar ($16) instead of the lanyard at the same price. A fair question, but I declined, and said, "No, I'm sorry, I can't do that, as they are not the same price".  My friend looked at  me and said "I'm so impressed. You just said no, with such confidence. No back and forth."  And it sort of made me giggle. When I first started this, I was so far the other direction. I would either fall over myself apologizing, or just give them the deal... so happy and honored that they wanted one of my items.  Now I'm still honored... I just agree with them. :)

Another great thing that is happening is my new job. I love it. My only real complaint is that I wish I could be there more. Seriously.

And this weekend I got a call from a local freelance writer who writes a craft column in the Grand Rapids Press. You might know her from Craftsanity.  She is pretty awesome. She wanted to feature me in this Sunday's paper.  Honestly... even if it doesn't make it to print, I'm just giddy with pride. 

So things are good. But they are also stressful.  I have someone in my life that is less than supportive of my business. She doesn't say anything to me directly... but tries to convince others to not help me with the kids on days I have shows.  Part of me says that it shouldn't matter... it is between me and the person helping. The other part of me is hurt. Hurt that I don't have that support that I wish I had.  And I don't really know what to do with that.

Then there is my one sister.  She had her second mastectemy last week. Sigh.  I feel for her. I wish there was something I could do to help. But really... I think she just wants things to be normal, and calling to help is just a reminder that things aren't normal.  Hugs for her.

And you know that interview for the press?  Well, right about when she was emailing me to see if I could get together... I was dying my hair. Brown. The same brown I've dyed it twice this summer. Or so I thought. It came out Jet. Black. Seriously. Like, get out the black nail polish and dark eyeliner black. (Not that that's not beautiful on some... it's just certainly not me).  The interview was to happen the next day. With pictures. I ended up trying to strip my hair with the "oops" stuff from the store. It faded to a dark brown with reddish highlights.  I'm learning to love the new me. :)  (You'll see pictures soon...)

Then there is Haley, who is really struggling at school.  I am frustrated with her, and FOR her.  Having an 11 year old is hard.  WAY harder than I thought. And frankly, I've been scared about this age since she was born.

There are more... just silly little things that all add up to a big ball of hail, lol.  Some days I am just so exhausted, tired, and overwhelmed. And then I remember those wonderful things I talked about at the top of this post. Plus my two kiddos who are the most wonderful things in my life.  And I have a few really great friends, who support me in everything I do. In that, honest, I'll tell when I think you're screwing up, but still support you kind of way, lol.  And that makes me smile.

Forgive me while I share some lines from another song...

Call it what you will, I call it rain

When troubles come and pan against my soul

Go in if you like, I will remain

And let the washing waters make me whole

Just when I'm sure that I can't bear the rain

A tiny leaf starts pushing through the ground

In a place where the soil was too dry to sustain it

A new tiny flower can be found

I like to remind myself that with every struggle comes wisdom.  And just like the rain, those troubles do make me the person that I am. And I like that person. Even on the days I question what it's all about. :)